Sunday, September 12, 2010

I did it...

I'm not the most confident person, nor do I think I have the greatest body. Let's face it, during my pregnancy with the Lemur I gained over 90lbs...yes over 90lbs!! And really didn't loose alot of it before I got pregnant with the Koala. Fortunately with her I only gained about 30lbs after loosing 10lbs during the first part of the pregnancy due to awful horrible morning sickness. Since then I'm frequently dropping off the pounds without doing much. Hooray for the breastfeeding insta-weight loss program! Sure I go walking with the Koala in a carrier and the Lemur in the stroller (its a great work out) and I try to eat healthy but most of it is from the breastfeeding. I put on clothes this morning that fit me perfectly pre-Lemur pregnancy and well the shirt I'm wearing is way to big now and my jeans I can slip off over my hips without unbutonning them....I've lost much exactly? I don't know, I actually haven't stepped on a scale since I was in labour with the Koala. I've been meaning to weigh myself and see but haven't yet. Although I've lost alot of weight, there's still parts of me that I'm not particularily comfortable tummy...I have that perpetual mommy tummy flab from having two children....all the stretch marks...I have stretch marks on stretchmarks and although to me they are badges of motherhood, I still wouldn't show them to anyone else (ok well except the Hubby).

Anyways...awhile ago a photographer friend approached me about doing a boudoir shoot so she could practice her boudoir photography. I was a little unsure about it because I am a very self concious person and well after having two babies in less then 3 years my body isn't exactly model material and I was feeling really down at that point. So I thought it over and thought it over and finally took a risk and said yes. Unfortunately things got in the way and we didn't get it done until recently...

She finally had time in her schedual and approached myself and a couple friends. Yesterday I was part of a boudoir photo shoot/boudoir party with a couple other mommy friends of mine. We all got together at our one friend's house to get ready and hang out while each one of us got to do a photoshoot. It was soooo much fun. I was a bit nervous at first but our photographer from Indi*claire Photography was awesome, she made me feel really comfortable and beautiful. I bared most of it and felt awesome! So yep I did it! I'm overcoming my negative body image just a little bit. I can still feel sexy and beautiful as a woman and mother. As much as I told myself that this shoot was for my hubby it was really just as much for me.I can't wait to get my pictures back....will I ask her to edit out a few strtch marks maybe...but I think I will keep a few just theway they are to remind myself of this moment on those days I feel really down about myself.

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